I’d be GLAD TO.
So, in 2011, I’m visiting a friend and he’s Seventh Day Adventist and has been all his life. He’s pretty devout, he would go to church on Saturdays during college…which honestly, is impressive. In 2011 I was in law school just kicking it with him and he asked if I was go and I was like, sure.
This particular friend is a homosexual black male. He has never come out to anyone about it, though. He got pretty messy in undergrad and started having sex with other dudes at other schools and on our campus and it got around. That being said, I never (and have never) confronted him about it. I felt like it would push him away, and it’s something that he hasn’t come to terms with. He’s from this conservative SDA family and it’s just a mess. I’m not sure if he’s actually come out to anyone or to himself even now; I just assume that when he’s ready to share it with me, he will. I digress.
So, we’re at church and it’s right after the state he’s from passed an act making same sex marriage legal, so the pastor is TURNT. He’s talking about "HOMOSEXUALS WILL ALL DROWN IN THE PIT OF HELL FOR ALL ETERNITY" and
"GAYS WILL NEVER INHERIT THE KINGDOM OF GOD" and
"WE NEED TO TRANSCEND PAST THIS EARTH AND STAY OUT OF CLUTCHES OF THE HOMOSEXUAL DEMONS."
I mean…..I was FLOORED. I had tears in my eyes. I wanted to FIGHT HIM…which I was able to cool myself down, obviously. I wanted to get up and leave but obviously that would be rude. So I look over at him, because I’m like……this is a mess.
And he’s literally looking….like somewhere off in the corner. Like a kid who got caught stealing like a grape pop from the fridge and you ask them if they stole it but they are like nah but their lips are purple. He just looked so….guilty. And sad. And like he wanted to be anywhere else.
And it clicked to me. There’s no WAY he can accept himself if he was reared in this type of environment since birth. That who he is attracted to made him some sort of ‘homosexual demon’. a DEMON, really? like. What! And so there’s no way he could come out to his parents OR himself. So because he wanted to satisfy the urges he had without wanting to come off as ‘homosexual’ he would have sex with men without condoms. Apparently, a lot of men who are DL do that shit…I guess putting a condom on makes the fact that they are having sex more real, hell, idk. Either way, this ideology from his church damned him spiritually, emotionally, sexually….idk.
So, on the way home…I’m asking him if he liked the service. He was like, yeah, it was good. My pastor is always on point. And I sort of blinked twice and was like….all of it? You agreed with all of it? And he looked at me funny, like he knew we both knew but he wasn’t going to say it and I damn sure wasn’t going to say it and was like….all of it, Ashley.
And it just…tore me up.
Not every black church is like this, obviously, but this particular POV is not a novel idea to that forum. And he felt so strongly about falling in line with his church and the church’s teachings, even though his pastor was just spewing hate rhetoric about someone like him…..ahhhhhhhh.
I can’t even type anymore.
This is a fund set up for the people who have been arrested while protesting in Ferguson. Please donate if you can and share widely. This is concrete action we can take to support the people of Ferguson. Also please call your local representative and let them know you do not agree with what’s happening. Here’s a script and a way to find the contact info for your local reps.
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